Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
