this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
