I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
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i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
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She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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