At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My dick has a subreddit
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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