sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
