I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
