She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
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Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
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BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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