FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
