I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
