he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
