I'm really into asian looking animals
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
