tonight lets celebrate not being married
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
