girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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