My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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