What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
