She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
