what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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