It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
