so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
