your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
