It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
