I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
