whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
