ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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