So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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