If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
