he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize