One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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