Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
zippers are such a cool invention
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
