im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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