Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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