I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
