Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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