So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just gargled with NyQuil
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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