why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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