How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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