so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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