this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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