yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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