Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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