Do vagina's smell?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize