I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
