hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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