Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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