forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
