I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
