James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
