my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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