one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
