I cockslap morals
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
