All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Randomize
