After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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