I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
