No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
