So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize