when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
