Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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