I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
