i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
