Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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