I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
