Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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