I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
