No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
