I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
