so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
