This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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