If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
