i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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